Never mind what I say. It is all futile anyway. This whole idea of trying to make sense of it all – when, in fact, nothing will ever make sense to anyone but me. And to me, it all just doesn’t make sense.

I will relive memories and moments, thinking it will do something better for me in trying to understand why I came to be or why I am the way I am… This all doesn’t matter. When all is said and done and I am six feet under and/or ashes blown into the ocean – this is all shit. If it means anything to you, then you will probably be more narcissistic than I ever imagined I thought I would be when I decided to write about all this… And not like this is biblical, or true. This is my point of view. Stupid. Maybe not even real to them who may be involved. But it is what it is until it isn’t. And maybe I am hoping to give reason for it all when there really isn’t any reason. I only know my side of a story, and there are so many sides. I am not the one truth, but I get the privilege to write it out anyway as if it were mine, as I saw and see it through my eyes and in my mind. So yeah – enjoy the ride. That’s all it is. Kill your own time to give way to the verse to follow. You know nothing, and yet you may know everything. At the very least, my truth. And now, that’s all that matters. That’s all that will make sense even if it doesn’t.